I have a hard time answering this one as intended. I do not believe that a life should be worth l living due to people or situations as these things can change, evolve or vanish. I feel that though there are many people that make life better and easier and much more wonderful, they are not the reason it is worth living. This can really only come from within.

I know that sounds horrible individualistic and it really takes away from life being a whole rather than the sum of its parts, but so many people are co-dependant that sometimes a person needs to recognize that they are the real reason life is worth living. Not that they are the reason the sun sets and the waves crash, but they are the reason to get up in the morning and the things they do have so much impact on the world. Even the potential to do good in your life is the reason for living.

So I’m going to write about me. While I have my faults, there are people who love me anyway. I try to have high expectations of myself and my conduct as a person. I try not to lie because this takes more effort to keep up with than it is worth and I try to be easy going for the same reason. This gives more time and energy to devote to other more fun and enjoyable things. Making other people’s lives easier, teaching them to fend for themselves, or really even doing little things like making dinner at night so someone else does not have to worry about it.

Things I am working on doing in the future to make life worth living. Letting my parents take a real adult vacation from having kids. What they choose to do with that time is up to them, but I’m kidnapping the littlest sister for a week and they can just be adults on their own. This also gives my littlest sister some much needed bonding time with her new brother in law and her oldest sister.

I have never really created a bucket list. There are a ton of things I’d love to do but penciling them in like a must do makes me feel like it is an appointment and guilty if I miss doing it. But it has been recently pointed out that I / we never end up actually doing things.

My list:
Go to Europe again.
Go somewhere in Asia.
Travel more within America.
Finish post bachelors something /training.
Feel confident that I am qualified for a good job.
Pay off student loans and car debt
Buy a house. Make it a dream house.

I really like to travel, I’ve been all over North America and over a little bit of Europe. I am a fan of good food and like doing museum and cultural tours. I’ve been to ruins in Mexico, presidents houses in the US and old churches in Florence. I would love to do more of this but right now it is cost prohibited.

Right now I have started back to school for a diploma as a paralegal. Part of me would love to be a lawyer, but i also would not want to take on that kind of stress in my life. As a paralegal there is a bit less stress while still being enough of a specialization that future job prospects seem a bit brighter. Which would probably make me feel more qualified to get a real job or a career. We shall see.

Last but not least, I think i want a house. I’m not convinced that I would want to settle anywhere but i really want to design a dream house.

Yep pretty horrible about getting these done on time.

Well lets use that as a lesson. I’m bad about time. Keeping appointments on time, remembering to do things and I’m procrastinator. I’d love to change these things. Its annoying to have to rush at the last minute to do anything and I’m sure it drives people mad.

Things I can do on time include taking my birth control. I have no desire for kids so this ranks up pretty high. I have an alarm set on my phone, otherwise it would never happen. However other alarms seem to mean nothing, including getting up in the morning or leaving on time for work if I do get up at a reasonable hour.

I’m bad at keeping any sort of schedule that does not involve an intricate set of alarms or reminders. I live by my google calendar if I can ever remember to stop snoozing the reminders. SNOOZE is my friend.

I should set my alarm to prompt math questions when snooze as well as when I’m going to dismiss the alarm, maybe then I might wake up enough to actually get out of bed.

This year I hope to be better about time, wasting it, using it more wisely, and being on time for appointments or remembering to do simple tasks like writing 250 words about pre-determined prompts.

I’m sure this will help with my homework as I’ve started classes for an additional certification… I should really start practising getting out of bed on time so i can get to work on time and then have time to actually do school work.

Ok i suck at keeping up with these, even if i set them up ahead of time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_Games

AGLOA

In 5th and 6th grade I was part of a club at school that played games. We played math, English and history games. We were very good. This club helped me learn math and English concepts i wouldn’t see in class until was in high school. My teacher in 5th grade was the “hard” teacher and she was certainly the one 4th graders were afraid to get, but in reality she was amazing. Looking back, and having taught that age myself, she had high standards and expected her kids to adhere to the rules of the classroom. She was the districts’ sponsor for the club. We used the games in class as well.

Her teams were often first and second in the State for our age level.The kids we played with were mostly from innercity schools where as we were one of the few schools that were from the suburbs. This meant, when we traveled for monthly tournaments we went into the city.  I think this experience helped me not be afraid of the city like many people are.

When I was 16 I helped coach the younger kids. My teams won national tournaments. They were smart and wonderful. I think this was one of the last times I liked teaching and had to be one of the reasons I picked teaching social studies. I loved Linguishtik and Presidents to teach and to play. Part of me wishes I’d kept playing past elementary school.

Looking over the current state of the league, it looks like there were two nationals tournaments… and all of the teams i remember winning are not listed anywhere…It looks like there was the national tournament for AGLOA and then National Academic Games Tournament (NAGT), held annually at the Rock Eagle 4H Camp in Eatonton, GA.

com·pli·ment  :/ˈkämpləmənt/Noun : A polite expression of praise or admiration.

I do not keep track of compliments.  I am really shitty at accepting them. It really makes me uncomfortable.Often when I receive a compliment it is for something that I believe is extraordinary or should be expected. Maybe my standards are higher or maybe I should just take a minute to appreciate it.

Maybe compliments have turned into “likes” on facebook? I get those for food projects that the husband says are tasty. Maybe the biggest compliment I get is that my husband is all over me all the time. He still looks at me and says “we should get married” whenever I do something silly that reminds him I’m not just a normal wife. I get complimented for having a big butt. I really am not sure how to take that one. I’m not even sure where that came from in my family. I only have one other relative that is comparable. Maybe we were meant to have babies with our “birthing hips.”

Why can’t I take a compliment?” Our culture has taught us that it is attractive to have confidence in ourselves, but only within reason. At some point, we learn that if we display too much confidence, it actually repels others rather than attracts them.”

Maybe it is a culture thing, but I do not see it as a women only thing as this website suggests. I believe that in some cases it is a low self esteem thing. A thing where you were picked on with sarcastic comments when you were younger to the point that you just don’t believe people and have to make a strong effort to take things as they are intended.

I will work on it. Say thank you and try to feel like they mean it.

As I’ve mentioned I struggle with having or defining a purpose. This question is hard for me to answer because at this time I do not believe ones vocation defines why they are on earth. Especially now as jobs have turned into less and less of a career and more of a way to earn money that allows you to do the other things you love.

My job right now is in accounts payable. I went to school to be a teacher. I do not feel any sort of calling to either. There are aspects of both that I enjoy, buy they do not seem to excite me.

Teaching could have been/ may have been a real career choice had I been in a nurturing school. If there would have been a better support network for teachers my age, first year teachers, or even a mentor teacher that was not battling addiction at the same time as I was student teaching. Maybe if I had chosen to student teach in a grade that I wanted to teach in.  But this is off topic and teaching ended up not being my calling.

I have done many jobs in call centers from management to support to actually being on the phones. I liked some phone positions better than others, but I preferred to be in a supportive role. I am good at that. I do not have it in me to be in a management role due to the potential need to babysit grown ass adults and I feel that I can do more good than being on the phone. I also like to have a more flexible schedule than answering the phone allows for.

So what do I do now? I do customer service. I work in accounts payable helping creating orders. I’ve learned a great deal during this job. I like numbers and facts instead of at will decisions. The is a right way to do things most of the time. I will be sad to see my flexible schedule go when I move on. I will not miss the corporate environment.

This subject is a bit difficult. I try not to hold onto regret.  To me things that are often regretted are things that cannot be changed and regret seems to be an emotion people hold on to and let fester letting it grow and suck the life out of them. I try not to hold on to things that do not nourish me as person or inspire some kind of growth or happiness. I try…

Last year I had loss in my life. It was really the first time I can ever say that I’ve lost a loved one. It is the first time I have lost pets and family that I was very close to. I’m going to talk about something I can work on preventing in the furture.

I regret not being a better pet owner. I regret not paying attention to and following the signs that I know where there. Instead of following my instincts I put it off and went to work or  out for the day. It was more wait and see than it should have been. They were common mistakes that anyone really could have made, but they are the things I regret the most. It gives me anxiety over getting more pets. Or getting pets that have a short lifespan, I am anxious over the possible guilt and the impending loss of another one. I think part of me would write off people if I could. My next pet will have to be one that gives off better signs of illness.

Rabbits are fragile little monsters. Next time I’m getting insurance for them. http://www.rabbit.org/faq/sections/medical.html

This is going to sound sappy and mushy and probably expose more about my life than necessary.  AND it is probably going to sound way more like a newlywed than I want it to. Stop rolling your eyes.

The things about my routine involve time I get to spend with my husband. We normally wake up in the morning together and get ready together. This includes the 15 minutes in the shower (yes together) were we talk, eating breakfast and having morning coffee. This past week we have had different schedules and it bums me out. Shower time is sometimes the only time we have no distractions. We are there doing the normal shower thing, talking about the day or plans we need to make or just doing nothing but showering in the quiet. This is our mini version of hiking conversations. Most of the time it starts the day off in a calm focused manner before work makes it a crappy day.  Breakfast is normally just cereal and coffee but it is another half hour to wake up and enjoy each other’s company.

In the five and a half years we have been together I have gone grocery shopping alone exactly twice. Once he was out town for work and the other time he was also working and spent nearly zero time at home that weekend. I will not do it again – I will have someone shop for me and swing by to pick it up if we don’t have time to go together, but the stores around us are too crazy to brave alone. In this case we go together to keep each other from buying the cookie aisle or random other things or possibly to encourage the other to buy random things. It is a team effort hunt for things and battle the crazies.

My personal routine? Painting my nails. This happens at least once a week and it is my own personal girly moment.