Day one of what? No idea. Of posting lunch?
Day 4 – today on the hottest day of our stay, I went on a hike. Alone. I’m probably mid day through. Sitting at a small plaque for aboriginal soldiers lost in war. Until now I’ve seen only a handful of people and one bird. But as I get close to the war memorial at the bottom of the trial, the sound of people is increasing. The good thing is they are heading the opposite direction.
Being as it is the hottest day of our stay here I definitely ubered to the top to hike down instead if starting at the bottom and going up and back. Good thing too because I forgot my bottle in my room.
I also finished Ali Wong’s Dear Girls, which has an afterward by her husband. Both the book and the afterward gave me feelings. So I’m sitting here, at this memorial, trying to quietly make sense of my thoughts. So far it’s not working.
I wear this when I need a little extra love or when I’m thinking of you. Or when I’m happy and want to send my love out into the world.
My heart is full
But also broken
I feel for you my cecrta
Every time we move we do a large purge of stuff. For me it is usually clothes and shoes collected since the last purge. Sometimes it’s clothes that I’ve had for years that I just don’t see the use in keeping anymore. Sometimes it’s things that the weight of the emotions wrapped up in them is just more than I want to carry around anymore. I’m keeping my highschool senior sweatshirt, my hockey sweatshirts, and I’m keeping my first concert tshirt. I’m going to be letting go of the track tshirt of the first real boyfriend I had. He said all the right things if you’re willing to ignore the passive aggressive and sometimes just aggressive bullshit they were sprinkled into. I’m letting go of the sweatshirt of a friend who was good at the time but not invested enough to keep in touch. While there were many good memories and some pretty shitty ones, they are long gone and too many good thing have happened since then to keep holding in to these and letting them pop up, haunting my moves and spring cleaning.
I’ve been trying for months to think of a way to express how much you mean to me. We’ve survived being teenagers, young adults, distance, hormones and disagreements together. You’ve been my best friend, my voice of reason, and my co conspirator though it all. Being able to watch you bloom into the adult version of the amazing person you are, has and continues to be awe inspiring. You are my role model. Happy Birthday! I.O.U. breakfast in Georgia.