Category Archives: thought

Ikea

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In the early morning on Christmas day we picked up my sister from the airport. It was a surprise for our parents, because her schedule kept changing. We all slept at the hotel so that we didn’t wake anyone in the middle of the night. When morning came we asked the parents to hide in their room and J3 in hers, walked the big present into the living room and hid my sister under the tree with it.

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They didn’t notice her at first but eventually everyone cried and a good Christmas was had. With almost all of us in the same house.

Part of me was dreading it. My sisters and I have strange relationships. J3 sees me as Mom #2 and as a teenager that has got to be infuriating. I try most of the time to control my urge to chastise her or remind her about some responsibility. I don’t succeed most of the time. I didn’t talk to her about why talking about money in relation to gift giving is rude. Not all of our family is as well off as we are and mentioning how much something cost or who paid for it only makes people feel bad or obligated to match the worth in some way. And this goes both ways. I should have but I’m not sure it would have been well received. It probably isn’t my place anyways. I’m still working on figuring out what that is.

J2 and I grew up together and are far enough apart in age that we fought like crazy. Close enough that we always had a playmate and to get into trouble in our late teens. And then I moved away. We are polar opposites in alot of ways and very similar in others. We didn’t become adults together. I think we actually spent most of the last 10 years not talking. Not on purpose I don’t think, but just not.

The day we were leaving my parents we went to Ikea with my dad and sisters.
In the frames and mass produced artwork J2 and I started talking. The other pairs or sisters we know, that she knows, are alot closer than we are. She was wondering why that is. I don’t think I’d ever thought about it before.

The only things I could think of, at least with the sister pairs I know was age (most of them are only a year apart, and they are in the same parts of life at the same time) and the fact that for the most part they have become adults together. In our adult lives we have never been in the same location. I was out at school, in California, in North Carolina she was either back in Michigan, in the military all over the place or Japan. And with our age, there were alot of things during that time that we experienced that were she was just starting a journey when I was finishing it.
I don’t know that being in the same place to would have helped much day to day, but at least the maturing wouldn’t have been so jarring because we would have seen each other more often and had the opportunity to do stupid things together. We could have been at each other’s weddings and know how to read each other’s bullshit better.

And then I put a basket on her head and we made jokes at the expense of an entire culture, cause we are jerks.

I don’t want to be like my mom and her sister who barely talk and don’t know anything about the other’s life. Neither of them would have any idea how the other felt, all of their memories of each other are 20+ years old and they are both different people now. Maybe if one had had more influence on the other they would be more balanced people. But then again one could have made the other balls out crazy.

As a rule I don’t like NY resolutions, cause they are stupid and if you’re going to change something you don’t need a date to start, you procrastinating lazy ass. But I don’t think this counts since we already talked about it. It’s just a beginning.

2015 is the year to be a better sister.

Life is Good Day

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In 2002, we made up a holiday. It with two college freshman. As can be expected they were barely starting to figure out the whole “adult” part of life.
It started with a list, trying to remember and keep present with why Life is Good, and ended with an adventure.

I believe that we’ve acknowledged the every year since and sometimes the number when we really need it. The past few years have been rougher about this time of year.

But every year we still acknowledge how greatful we are for our lives and how they have turned out, cause in 2002 we were young and a bit crazy. (as everyone that age tends to be.) Maybe we made up our own anniversary because we needed to celebrate our friendship because it was one of the biggest constant support at the time. And now even though we’re hundreds of miles apart we can celebrate how far we’ve come together and apart. It’s the rough times when we need it, so taking the time to celebrate makes it easier to remember life is good.

❤ you Sexy girl.

You are not the same person.

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The phrase that alarms me lately is “as a…”. No, just no, you have not been that in over 10 years. You have not been that person or even in that culture since I met you and you certainly haven’t put in the effort to maintain a connection to what you used to be. I know you’re hanging on for dear life as it is but maybe using terms to define you would be a good start. Especially ones that don’t fit in any way. Use them as a goal, something to reach for, but stop lying to yourself.

Support

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There seems to be a growing number of people in my life going through changes in their life. For some of them it was expected to some extent, part of growing up. For some, while others may think it’s long overdue, it’s liberating and I hope a new beginning for life in general. For some it’s a chance to embrace life for real.

I’m most proud of a friend who is working on taking back control of her life and working through some crazy traumatic events in her life
I hope this is a new beginning for her.

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I wonder sometimes what our lives would be like if we lived in my home town. The influences of my family and the community around them. I wonder if i would still be teaching because the school systems are better (at least locally) and they pay better. Everywhere has its faults but for that instance would it have been a better places to be? I have school teacher friends there who cannot find a full time job, but is that more about them not wanting to move too far or just the fact that there is not a ton of turnover. I guess both things are good about the area. My sisters and I have had the same kindergarten teacher even 15 year apart. My parent’s and possibly one of the sisters have had the same teachers in highschool. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing but it certainly makes the area feel more connected than the ones i’m in right now.