In mostly reverse order.
Easter Baskets from your Mom when you’re 30 are still fucking awesome.
So is CocoLoco.
And this guy for replacing my bra the dryer ate.
In the early morning on Christmas day we picked up my sister from the airport. It was a surprise for our parents, because her schedule kept changing. We all slept at the hotel so that we didn’t wake anyone in the middle of the night. When morning came we asked the parents to hide in their room and J3 in hers, walked the big present into the living room and hid my sister under the tree with it.
They didn’t notice her at first but eventually everyone cried and a good Christmas was had. With almost all of us in the same house.
Part of me was dreading it. My sisters and I have strange relationships. J3 sees me as Mom #2 and as a teenager that has got to be infuriating. I try most of the time to control my urge to chastise her or remind her about some responsibility. I don’t succeed most of the time. I didn’t talk to her about why talking about money in relation to gift giving is rude. Not all of our family is as well off as we are and mentioning how much something cost or who paid for it only makes people feel bad or obligated to match the worth in some way. And this goes both ways. I should have but I’m not sure it would have been well received. It probably isn’t my place anyways. I’m still working on figuring out what that is.
J2 and I grew up together and are far enough apart in age that we fought like crazy. Close enough that we always had a playmate and to get into trouble in our late teens. And then I moved away. We are polar opposites in alot of ways and very similar in others. We didn’t become adults together. I think we actually spent most of the last 10 years not talking. Not on purpose I don’t think, but just not.
The day we were leaving my parents we went to Ikea with my dad and sisters.
In the frames and mass produced artwork J2 and I started talking. The other pairs or sisters we know, that she knows, are alot closer than we are. She was wondering why that is. I don’t think I’d ever thought about it before.
The only things I could think of, at least with the sister pairs I know was age (most of them are only a year apart, and they are in the same parts of life at the same time) and the fact that for the most part they have become adults together. In our adult lives we have never been in the same location. I was out at school, in California, in North Carolina she was either back in Michigan, in the military all over the place or Japan. And with our age, there were alot of things during that time that we experienced that were she was just starting a journey when I was finishing it.
I don’t know that being in the same place to would have helped much day to day, but at least the maturing wouldn’t have been so jarring because we would have seen each other more often and had the opportunity to do stupid things together. We could have been at each other’s weddings and know how to read each other’s bullshit better.
And then I put a basket on her head and we made jokes at the expense of an entire culture, cause we are jerks.
I don’t want to be like my mom and her sister who barely talk and don’t know anything about the other’s life. Neither of them would have any idea how the other felt, all of their memories of each other are 20+ years old and they are both different people now. Maybe if one had had more influence on the other they would be more balanced people. But then again one could have made the other balls out crazy.
As a rule I don’t like NY resolutions, cause they are stupid and if you’re going to change something you don’t need a date to start, you procrastinating lazy ass. But I don’t think this counts since we already talked about it. It’s just a beginning.
2015 is the year to be a better sister.
In 2002, we made up a holiday. It with two college freshman. As can be expected they were barely starting to figure out the whole “adult” part of life.
It started with a list, trying to remember and keep present with why Life is Good, and ended with an adventure.
I believe that we’ve acknowledged the every year since and sometimes the number when we really need it. The past few years have been rougher about this time of year.
But every year we still acknowledge how greatful we are for our lives and how they have turned out, cause in 2002 we were young and a bit crazy. (as everyone that age tends to be.) Maybe we made up our own anniversary because we needed to celebrate our friendship because it was one of the biggest constant support at the time. And now even though we’re hundreds of miles apart we can celebrate how far we’ve come together and apart. It’s the rough times when we need it, so taking the time to celebrate makes it easier to remember life is good.
❤ you Sexy girl.
Today (and most other days) I am thankful for my family, my husband, my friends, the turkey brineing in the kitchen, a job I don’t hate, and a life full of love and abundance.
Bread – Homemade Sub Rolls + 1/2 Tbsp of rosemary
Turkey – 4-6lb turkey breast est. 2 hours cooking in oven bag. Seasonings brineing, butter, salt/pepper rubbed, stuffed/rubbed with oranges & cloves
Stuffing- Just a simple traditional (in my house at least) stuffing recipe. This year I’m adding carrots to mine.
Mashed Potatoes – These are pretty straight forward – mashed potatoes, little butter little half and half.
Communicating with family. I’m not sure what it is but I’d much rather be with my family on the holidays rather than have to muddle through a phone call. Especially with my aging grandparents who are fantastic but in their mid 80s. They can’t hear well, Grandpa is in the early stages of dementia and Grandma is kind of a passive aggressive downer. I love my grandparents, but it is a struggle for me to get through a phone call with them. I guess I should give them a call, dinner is in an hour and at least I’ll set myself up with a reason to not talk too long.
This year we didn’t put up our big xmas tree, didn’t decorate, didn’t send out cards, we just weren’t feeling it this year. We did presents this morning and they were good. We put a tiny pretty wire tree, made cookies, watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” and did all the things that make today feel warm and fuzzy since we can’t head up north this year. But just not feeling as into it as usual.
2007 was the last time my family was all together on Xmas. Sometime we should do that again. With one sister in the the Navy and us not near the family either its a but harder to coordinate. Hopefully next summer we can get everyone in the same place at the same time before sister is stationed over seas.
Break from the wedding stuff
I think I’m ready to take a break from wedding planning for December. I have some crafts I might do, but I think now is a good time to set everything down and do something else. Maybe I’ll come back refreshed and inspired. I think I’m worn out because I have no one really local to share things with. The OtherJ is not excited about the same things I am excited about – not that it is a bad thing, its probably the best thing because I can get dumb and crafty, and he will plan our food.
We’ve had things generally planned for awhile before we were officially engaged. After getting engaged things solidified –
- wedding bands ordered
- site picked out
- baker met/tasted/adopted
- cake toppers planned and half made
- favors planned and started to be made
- dress and shoes bought
- DYI projects planned
We are well on our way but we are having such a low key low maintenance wedding that there is not much that requires any sort of urgency.
Things that may get done on my break: putting the deposit down on the site ($150), learning how to tie a pretty bow for our favor baskets, making out cake topper people, DIYing my hair comb… but thats it.
Non wedding things to get done: Xmas cookies, putting the tree up, Xmas presents, saving for non wedding things we want next year, saving for PAXEast trip, finishing plants vs zombies with OtherJ
Trouble with finding an officiant
We still have some details to work out but we are for sure having a courthouse legal signing and a separate ceremony. Though our reasons are a little different.
1) We are getting married where my family lives, but we are doing it more for my grandparents who are old and can’t really travel. Since this is not an “us” place we want to get all legal in our own state, in our little city.
2) The waiting period for out-of-towners where we are getting married is 3 days – we don’t have that time.
3) Around here it seems like there are only ministers that can marry you… even the ones ordained on line I hate that the word minister or anything like it is attached to the title. Hate it. I hate it more than the fact my state has “god” on the marriage certificate. So even if we were getting married locally we would have gone to the courthouse and had someone we love do that actual ceremony.
My parent’s have been informed – I think a couple other family members, but other than that it is a non issue and I don’t see the need to tell anyone. They might wonder because my littlest sister (12) will be helping the reading/ceremony, but we can tell them if they ask about it later.
If we were not doing the above someone in the atheist group mentioned http://www.celebrantinstitute.org/?p=map which seems the most in line with what i would want from an officiant.
December is also money saving month
The plan is to cut down on spending. I’m going to attempt to only spend the allowed amount of cash for December instead of wondering where it all went. It will be an experiment.