Day 4 – today on the hottest day of our stay, I went on a hike. Alone. I’m probably mid day through. Sitting at a small plaque for aboriginal soldiers lost in war. Until now I’ve seen only a handful of people and one bird. But as I get close to the war memorial at the bottom of the trial, the sound of people is increasing. The good thing is they are heading the opposite direction.
Being as it is the hottest day of our stay here I definitely ubered to the top to hike down instead if starting at the bottom and going up and back. Good thing too because I forgot my bottle in my room.
I also finished Ali Wong’s Dear Girls, which has an afterward by her husband. Both the book and the afterward gave me feelings. So I’m sitting here, at this memorial, trying to quietly make sense of my thoughts. So far it’s not working.
I wear this when I need a little extra love or when I’m thinking of you. Or when I’m happy and want to send my love out into the world.
This book makes me weepy for a couple of reasons. It is represents so many possibilities and crippling fear at the same time. It used often for graduations but we use it for our wedding. We had a pop-up book for our guest book and today I’m looking at the baby book for one of my dearest friends.
How do you put into words the hope and support you have for your friend’s kid into words? I always struggle with this. My heart is full thinking of my friend-babies and cousin-babies and the potential that just is out there waiting for them. And what little I can offer in ways of a helping hand or support for their parents or them is there for the taking when it is needed.
Oh! Emoji that’s why they are there 💗💗💗🖖🤟
Every time we move we do a large purge of stuff. For me it is usually clothes and shoes collected since the last purge. Sometimes it’s clothes that I’ve had for years that I just don’t see the use in keeping anymore. Sometimes it’s things that the weight of the emotions wrapped up in them is just more than I want to carry around anymore. I’m keeping my highschool senior sweatshirt, my hockey sweatshirts, and I’m keeping my first concert tshirt. I’m going to be letting go of the track tshirt of the first real boyfriend I had. He said all the right things if you’re willing to ignore the passive aggressive and sometimes just aggressive bullshit they were sprinkled into. I’m letting go of the sweatshirt of a friend who was good at the time but not invested enough to keep in touch. While there were many good memories and some pretty shitty ones, they are long gone and too many good thing have happened since then to keep holding in to these and letting them pop up, haunting my moves and spring cleaning.
We finished our first round of Whole30 strong back in July… and immediately failed the reintroduction phase. Honestly I’d like to say it was poor planning because we had friends get togethers and traveled for my sister’s open house the days after finishing but really we were just tired of being restricted.
There were some rules that we stuck too, partially because we’d been doing it before whole30. No added sugar or fake sugars in places that were not supposed to be sweet to begin with. Soy was pretty much cut out. Bread was reduced to hamburger buns and pizza.
Well three months later I was back to feeling icky, my skin is exceptionally patchy and dry, and I don’t feel like I learned anything about how I handle food. (The dry skin could also be my stress induced eczema or the new PNW climate.. who knows.) I’m looking at you nuts and fruit.
October was my month to try again, this time alone. The only part that sucks is the french fries. I’m cool with plain salads and bunless burgers when we go out, but damn I want some fries. I’m good with eating out in a group and getting adjustments to my order. My skin is getting better. I’ve also moved off high stress project and started to combat the dry air with water and more lotion. I’ve stayed away from the fruits & nuts for the most part. I’m trying to keep a low carb whole30 this time. I do add them in where it makes sense, but not as a omg I need sugar.
Most of the appeal of the whole30 to me has been the cooking challenges, rice and pasta are easy to add to anything. I did buy the Whole30 cookbook the last time around and have since bought Nom Nom Paleo’s Ready or Not book. I pre-ordered a Whole30 Approved cookbook The Whole Smiths Good Food Cookbook that I’m excited about. We started using HomeChef because they have more low carb options than Plated and were pretty easy to comply with my Whole30 with a few modifications for my dishes. (omg we loooooved Plated.) When this is all done, I’m hoping to stick to 80% Whole30 or paleo.
20 more days including reintroduction, by the end we’re having a friendsgiving. I hope to have more answers to how my body handles food and be better able to make decisions on my food choices. I may end up eating my weight in fries though.
Non food related news… my baby sister is an official adult. One friend baby should be arriving any time now, the other in December, and a cousin baby is scheduled for early next year. We’ll probably move into the city next spring where there are more people, more to do, and less driving to get anywhere fun. It is starting the rainy season here and since it has been over 10 years since I’ve spent the entire winter without seeing the sun I’m loading up on vitamin d and a sunshine lamp. I’m reserving my judgment of the PNW until next year when we move and I’ve navigated the gray 8 months of the year.
Here goes nothing.
I don’t even remember what we ate this week off the top of my head. I think we had some spaghetti and meatballs, some left overs from the previous week, a couple days with steaks, carne asada salads, egg spinach and sausage bakes, butternut squash, sloppy joe insides. All compliant and all tastey.
This week we have chicken, spaghetti squash, some steak and and green beans. This week we also have work events, a high school open house and a cross country trip. I am thankful we will be in the re-introduction phase this coming weekend. It probably won’t be an easy weekend but we’ll try to keep as compliant as possible.
Egg Sausage Broccoli Bake + Compliant Lunch Meat
Egg Spinach Scrambled Eggs + Compliant Lunch Meat
Pumpkin Nut Porridge
Salad Plus Meat Leftovers
Thai Red Chicken Curry with Green Beans
Bacon Wrapped Chicken + Grilled Pineappe
Zucchini Noodles + Meatballs
Steak Stir-fry Wrap
I’ve been trying for months to think of a way to express how much you mean to me. We’ve survived being teenagers, young adults, distance, hormones and disagreements together. You’ve been my best friend, my voice of reason, and my co conspirator though it all. Being able to watch you bloom into the adult version of the amazing person you are, has and continues to be awe inspiring. You are my role model. Happy Birthday! I.O.U. breakfast in Georgia.