Monthly Archives: February 2013

Day 31: Epilogue: Write a letter to yourself.

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Dear myself,

You are really shitty at keeping a schedule. You may have only gotten these done on time about half of the time. Next time you really need to screen these prompts for religious connotations. Maybe be more realistic about times these need to be done especially when you are going to school and working and looking for more work.  Once a week, every other day?

Stop being a slacker.

Day 30: Someone in your family that means so much to you.

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There are more people in my family that mean alot to me than who don’t. I don’t like this question because it implies that there are situations where this would not be the case and that really just makes me sad that other people were not as fortunate as I am.

I will have to go with my Dad on this one. Family seems to mean everything to him. Taking care of everyone else and being the leader. This may not be the ideal for him all the time and I’m sure he needs a break. I am sure he has sacrificed a great many things over the years just to keep his kids clothed and fed and with a house going to school every day. We  never struggled as kids to have anything we needed. He got a real adult job and has kept it for nearly 30 year. I’m sure there are many times he has wanted to tip his desk over and just walk out. I’m sure he’s wanted to do that at home too.

He is the person I used to watch cooking and home improvement shows with. Read comic books and watch xfiles with. He has taught me how to cook and to sew. There are a couple of things that he has said to me as I transitioned from a little girl into more of an adult that I remember.

When we was dropping me off  for college he said “whatever stupid things you do, don’t do anything that would hurt someone else.” I’m still not sure if that meant drunk driving or getting knocked up. I have never done either.

Once when I was getting ready to move he said, ” Don’t belittle who you are with. Don’t talk about him behind his back and don’t talk down to him in front of other people. ” I don’t remember what brought this about, but I have tried to remember it. I try really hard to be a united front in my relationships. I have noticed that women in general need to have the upper hand and will often make snide comments. I can see how people get beaten down and emasculated from years and years of this. I chose my husband to be my partner I want people to see us as equals and I have nothing to prove. I especially want other people to see hims as awesome as I do.

I’m glad my dad provided such a great example for men in my life even if I haven’t always paid attention.

Day 28: What is your biggest dream in life (what one great thing do you want to accomplish)?

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I just want to be happy. I want to live a life that means something to someone. It does not have to be a big influence to the world, but I want someone to be better because of me and for that to be passed on. If I have made some kid smarter while I was teaching or if letting two girls in my class express themselves in the name of tolerance and that goes on to make them better and they make the world better, thats all I want. Who knows what great things have started by something so simple.

I hate the term butterfly effect, but little things do matter and they can matter in the long run. My biggest dream is to be the tiny influence for something greater. I don’t have a goal or anything monumental I want to accomplish in the here and now. I want to be happier than I am sad or angry or annoyed.

Day-27 Cousin B

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My cousin and I are 8 months apart in age, so this means for 4 months of the year (really 3 and a week) we are the same age. This used to drive me nuts, and she would make sure to rub it in when we were little.

She was my best friend growing up. We grew up playing barbies and having sleep overs before we started school and made other friends. We racked up $50 on grandma’s phone bill calling 1900 psychic numbers when we were little during one sleep over. I got in trouble she or her mom may have denied it. Grandma’s phone will still get the occasional call for the made up names we used. We went to vacation bible school at eachother’s churches two weeks out of the summer. It was really the only reason I went at all. We went out as teenagers and were teletubbies for our last Halloween trick or treating.

When she moved 12 hours from our family (with her boyfriend) she called me to ask me what I thought. It meant so much to me. I had just moved across the country with a guy I hadn’t been dating too long. I was the first of our generation to move away. I was the only one at the time. That took the heat off of her, at least she was a day’s drive. When I moved within a days drive she found out she was pregnant and moved back home. I still have a screenshot of her myspace page announcing she was headed to this hospital to have the baby.

Now that we are older, I wish we lived closer.