Category Archives: Family

Apr13

and all of a sudden it was not a good day

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Today was a good day at work, enough to do not toget bored, free potluck, and a quiet afternoon. After work I picked up some baby gifts for my wonderful well deserving Mom-to-be friend 1.0 dropped those off and headed home. And then the suprise bad day hit me. Planning on getting pizza with the working late OtherJ I thought of the money hidden in the kitchen. Grandma used to send money in whatever holiday card she would send us. We would keep it hidden away for special occations going to dinner or out to the movies. With her gone I only have a little left hidden, if I use it … its gone. I think I’ll have to relocate it upstairs to hide in the hippo bank where I can forget about it for a while. And now I’m thinking about the cards that won’t show up anywmore. Last year she was the onlyone who sent us birthday cards. Since we’re older its not a big deal, but when there is only one its kinda special. This year is going to be hard. With all the wonderful things that are scheduled to happen part of me is bitter and broken up and just angry. And all of a sudden it was not a good day. I hope we have good whiskey in the house.

Mar24

Music – The Cousin Project

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We’ve been making a list of songs we like for the wedding. OK so not just songs we like but couple songs that both of us like. We have 12 so far. We will probably think of more if we sat down an went through our music. We will do that later.

For the wedding we don’t want our kinda out-there music tastes to be the only ones represented. OtherJ had this great idea to get all of the cousins (I have a bunch) involved by having them help pick out music for the day. Songs they like, preferably own and want to share.

Yes, it will be an all day event for some. Picnic early afternoon more of a game night starting around dinner. All are welcome but the family friendly low-key version is the picnic. Later is for all the family friends and their munchkins to come over and celebrate with us. And all this time we need music. Lots. Of. Music.

I think that will be the wedding update this weekend, just have to work out the kinks with OtherJ.

Mar17

the month of losses

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Maybe its more like 6 weeks. First Cedrick, my pet ball Python the first pet of my own.  Then Grandma, the most devastating by far. Now, Noodle, one of my rabbits. My little attack bunny.

I’m really ready for this year to stop sucking.

Feb28

looking forward

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The matriarch of my family died the day after Valentines Day. She was 87. She raised 5 of her own children. 3 of her grandchildren (at least) and was super involved in the lives of the rest of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was our glue. She was one of the reasons we were having our wedding in Michigan.  Not having her around sucks. ( straight out of my aunt’s mouth)

We drove 12 hours on the 13th to be with her. Spent all day on the 14th at the hospital. Woke up early on the 15th to stay with her on “Granny watch” because she’s been known to punch a nurse or two and get up to go find people if she couldn’t see or hear them from her bed. Gram played basketball with my sister and I when we were little. She collected salt and pepper shakers because they always came in pairs. She was married in a light blue dress in a preachers living room a day after meeting Grandpa in 1945. They were married 67 years. We wore red to her memorial service because it was her favorite color. During the awful long memorial service we joked that we were glad she didn’t have her hearing aids in because she would have walked to walk out by now. Other than the devastating reality of why we visited, it was a fantastic family visit.

We left saying at least the next time we saw everyone it would be for a good reason. We would be in MI to get married with all our family and some friends. I’ll be wearing the necklace that she handed down to me when I turned 16. I will not have a memorial table set out, because us just being all together would have been enough. (Gram would have been creeped out by it anyway.) I will want salt and pepper shakers to start off my own collection. And I will start off married life with a stellar example to follow.

Nov28

December is Non-Wedding month

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Break from the wedding stuff

I think I’m ready to take a break from wedding planning for December. I have some crafts I might do, but I think now is a good time to set everything down and do something else. Maybe I’ll come back refreshed and inspired. I think I’m worn out because I have no one really local to share things with. The OtherJ is not excited about the same things I am excited about – not that it is a bad thing, its probably the best thing because I can get dumb and crafty, and he will plan our food.

We’ve had things generally planned for awhile before we were officially engaged. After getting engaged things solidified –

  • wedding bands ordered
  • site picked out
  • baker met/tasted/adopted
  • cake toppers planned and half made
  • favors planned and started to be made
  • dress and shoes bought
  • DYI projects planned

We are well on our way but we are having such a low key low maintenance wedding that there is not much that requires any sort of urgency.

Things that may get done on my break: putting the deposit down on the site ($150), learning how to tie a pretty bow for our favor baskets, making out cake topper people, DIYing my hair comb… but thats it.

Non wedding things to get done: Xmas cookies, putting the tree up, Xmas presents, saving for non wedding things we want next year, saving for PAXEast trip, finishing plants vs zombies with OtherJ
Trouble with finding an officiant

We still have some details to work out but we are for sure having a courthouse legal signing and a separate ceremony. Though our reasons are a little different.

1) We are getting married where my family lives, but we are doing it more for my grandparents who are old and can’t really travel. Since this is not an “us” place we want to get all legal in our own state, in our little city.

2) The waiting period for out-of-towners where we are getting married is 3 days – we don’t have that time.

3) Around here it seems like there are only ministers that can marry you… even the ones ordained on line I hate that the word minister or anything like it is attached to the title. Hate it.  I hate it more than the fact my state has “god” on the marriage certificate. So even if we were getting married locally we would have gone to the courthouse and had someone we love do that actual ceremony.

My parent’s have been informed – I think a couple other family members, but other than that it is a non issue and I don’t see the need to tell anyone. They might wonder because my littlest sister (12) will be helping the reading/ceremony, but we can tell them if they ask about it later.

If we were not doing the above someone in the atheist group mentioned http://www.celebrantinstitute.org/?p=map which seems the most in line with what i would want from an officiant.

 

December is also money saving month

The plan is to cut down on spending. I’m going to attempt to only spend the allowed amount of cash for December instead of wondering where it all went. It will be an experiment.

 

Apr17

Distance Planning

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We’ve been “planning” our wedding since way before we became engaged. Just storing away ideas that we liked because we knew it would happen eventually (he wanted to make the proposal perfect). We’ve had the same general idea for over a year now so we are going with that. It fits us and our lifestyle and our family so it it still a wonderful idea. The problem is that my grandparents are old. Grandma has heart problems and Grandpa is in the early stages of dementia they are both almost deaf. We live 800 miles from them (and the rest of my family) and it is really important that they be there.

I had to call and tell Grandma twice that we were engaged because she didn’t hear me the first time. OtherJ decided though our current plan was great, that it would be more practical to have the wedding where my family is. That would mean that only his family would have to travel (they would have had to anyway) and that Grandma and Grandpa could definitely be there. Since we’d had everything planned out on where now we’re starting over finding a venue.

I recently went to visit my parents who took an entire day to drive me around to take scouting pictures of parks. (Cause they are awesome.) They are going to be by eyes and ears for this alot of the wedding. They’ve even gone out to new destinations while I’ve been back home and sent me pictures to scope out. I am hoping that the rest of my family will do the same on their outings to the area parks this summer when the leaves have return.

Dec25

non-religious xmas

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How does one who is not at all religious celebrate Christmas? … The same way lots of people do. Presents and eating. We have a tree and a nice dinner and spend the day together. We are thankful and use the day to practice traditions that mean something to us. We will eat chinese food or something that makes us happy, we might play video games or watch a movie. But the day will be about us and the people we love even if we cannot be with them. That is what Christmas is really about.

We are not religious, in fact most of the time we are headed to hell in a a hand basket… well if you believe in that at all. We use this day because we have it off work. It is a national holiday so if we were not actually off of work we’d be getting paid time and a half, but in recent years we have the day off. It is convenient. I like that even if you do not believe in the whole jebus thing that a good amount of people all have the day off of work and can spend time with their family and other loved ones. They can eat and pass around stories or presents or sit in front of the tv watching some horrible tv marathon.

I cannot be with the majority of my family today. But I will give them a call when they are all together and tell them I love them. The family I can be with, I will watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” with and be grateful they are right here. We will wake up in the morning like little kids and unwrap the presents that have been flowing in this week and we will be grateful that we are loved from all across the country. We will eat and drink and be happy. We will order (hopefully) chinese food and carry on the Jewish tradition for Xmas.

The point is a non-religious xmas has endless possibilities, but we are thrilled to have the day off of work to spend with eachother and call our families across the country to remind them that we love them.

Nov28

catching up

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I’ve had a few ideas for posts rattling around in my head.

    video games, how some people are better off not commenting on a community that they really have no connection to or interest in in the long run
    holidays in general
    our vacation/ thanksgiving
    lists
    journals
    gradschool (yeah i know i’ve mentioned it a million times)
    work ( in theory, not specifically)
    friends
    weddings
    small children

Some of them are still rattling and some have wandered away… today will be about lists, because those are nice and organized and don’t require a ton of thought to make them sound like anything more than just a list.

    Things I did this past week:
    Toured a the first penitentiary
    Walked around Philadelphia and ate a cheese stake
    Drove through Valley Forge
    Ate tons of yummy food/beer
    Met OtherJ’s friends M&M
    Met OtherJ’s brother/sister-in-law/niece
    Had yummy thanksgiving dinner
    Took a picture of the Washington Monument from a moving vehicle
    Only worried a little bit about work
    Was told my degree was not recognized for the grad program I was considering.
    Realized that eating out with friends and family all the time would make me all sorts of fat…
    gained 7-10 lbs over vacation and should really start working out again.

It was a busy week, but the least busy vacation we’ve ever taken. We had a great time.

    Things to get done by the end of the year:
    Put up holiday decorations
    Take Pictures of Bunnies for holiday cards
    Get xmas presents
    find/use the gym
    Clean the house – for reals
    rearrange living room/maybe a little maybe a lot
    look for new bed and new couch.

Those are mostly just the practical bits… there are some personal artsy bits I want to get done by the end of the year, but those are a little more fluid and will need a little more will power:

    get prints made of OtherJ’s photos, organize into note card sets (sell on etsy?)
    Paint something pretty

Maybe I’ll do another this soon…those seem to work out pretty well.

Aug15

Other J Birthday Weekend

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Yesterday, lazy morning and mad dash cleaning last night. pulled out the brisco county jr series set and we were good for the night.
This morning – breakfast and coffee out – Publix subs for lunch, some outdoor time and more Publix for his lunch tomorrow. Relaxing weekend while to save up for camping next weekend. Next weekend is camping with the ponies!

Procured subs and went to the park. Ducks joined us for lunch but wandered away when I wouldn’t share. short walk by the river but it was too hot to stay long. and the river was too murky to play in it. back to publix for lunch for tomorrow. crazy rain delays leaving for a while because not having ac in the car makes summer storms fog up the car so bad it’s undriveable. went to office depot, whose roof was leaking all over the merchandise. it was sad. rain stopped so we headed home. stopped at an icky dq. I miss cherry hardshell topping.

now we’re home and it is time to shower and watch more brisco county.

tomorrow is other js actual birthday. he gets to be old now too.