Category Archives: Family

Day 30: Someone in your family that means so much to you.

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There are more people in my family that mean alot to me than who don’t. I don’t like this question because it implies that there are situations where this would not be the case and that really just makes me sad that other people were not as fortunate as I am.

I will have to go with my Dad on this one. Family seems to mean everything to him. Taking care of everyone else and being the leader. This may not be the ideal for him all the time and I’m sure he needs a break. I am sure he has sacrificed a great many things over the years just to keep his kids clothed and fed and with a house going to school every day. We  never struggled as kids to have anything we needed. He got a real adult job and has kept it for nearly 30 year. I’m sure there are many times he has wanted to tip his desk over and just walk out. I’m sure he’s wanted to do that at home too.

He is the person I used to watch cooking and home improvement shows with. Read comic books and watch xfiles with. He has taught me how to cook and to sew. There are a couple of things that he has said to me as I transitioned from a little girl into more of an adult that I remember.

When we was dropping me off  for college he said “whatever stupid things you do, don’t do anything that would hurt someone else.” I’m still not sure if that meant drunk driving or getting knocked up. I have never done either.

Once when I was getting ready to move he said, ” Don’t belittle who you are with. Don’t talk about him behind his back and don’t talk down to him in front of other people. ” I don’t remember what brought this about, but I have tried to remember it. I try really hard to be a united front in my relationships. I have noticed that women in general need to have the upper hand and will often make snide comments. I can see how people get beaten down and emasculated from years and years of this. I chose my husband to be my partner I want people to see us as equals and I have nothing to prove. I especially want other people to see hims as awesome as I do.

I’m glad my dad provided such a great example for men in my life even if I haven’t always paid attention.

Day 11: A memory about Mom

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My mom’s birthday was yesterday (you know when I should have actually written this.). So this post will be about her.
Growing up, my Mom was a weird combination of cool mom and crazy mom. I could dye my hair and get my nose pierced but my curfew was 11pm. She would point out where I was conceived on a slide show, but wouldn’t let really date until i was 16. (That was most definitely related.)

When the littlest sister was incubating, she asked me to get baptized. I may have laughed or stared at her like she was crazy. I believe we had just had a conversation about me not believing in “God” or going to church, so she knew that it was not something I would choose to do on my own. The conversation went something like this…

Mom: Would you consider getting baptized with the baby?

Me: (O_o) No, I don’t believe in that.

Mom: Do it for me? I worry.

Me: I don’t think you understand the point of being baptized.

I don’t remember hearing about it again after that, and the baby wasn’t ever baptized.

One of the things I love about my mom is her nearly never ending optimism. About people, about a situation, little things do not seem to muddy her outlook on life or on people. I have not seen a time where someone did not have a second chance.  I know should my situation change my mom (and my dad) would take me in long enough for me to get back on my feet. I feel like she would do this with anyone she loves.

Day 02: A memory about Cousin S

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Today is my wonderful cousin S’ birthday. Cousin S is older than I am and loved to try and trick the younger ones into calling her Aunt S. Cousin S was the one to babysit, sit at the kids table and be the “cool aunt”. She made sure we matched our socks and would pick us up late at night to go to Meijer and just wander around. (though I was so young it was probably only 8 or 9 at night). I remember riding in the car with her, until we were nearly her size and sometimes after, if she had to stop faster than she would like, she would stretch her arm out across the passenger seat to make sure we didn’t slip out of the seatbelt. She drove a stick for a long time and would talk to the “dummy light” on the dashboard. I remember when she moved into the dorms at college and the loft beds with the notched 2×6 for a ladder. I love my planner and list maker Cousin. Without her we would have completely forgotten to do posed pictures for at our wedding. Without her I would probably never wear matching socks.

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Thanksgiving Play by Play

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Today (and most other days) I am thankful for my family, my husband, my friends, the turkey brineing in the kitchen, a job I don’t hate, and a life full of love and abundance.

Bread – Homemade Sub Rolls + 1/2 Tbsp of rosemary
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Turkey – 4-6lb turkey breast est. 2 hours cooking in oven bag. Seasonings brineing, butter, salt/pepper rubbed, stuffed/rubbed with oranges & cloves

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Stuffing- Just a simple traditional (in my house at least) stuffing recipe. This year I’m adding carrots to mine.
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Mashed Potatoes – These are pretty straight forward – mashed potatoes, little butter little half and half.

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And done 🙂
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A Political Post

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My immediate family is pretty liberal – not crazy liberal – but certainly gay rights, civil liberties, and religious freedom liberal. My siblings and I have grown up this way, so it boggles my mind to see anything different. I just do not understand any other way. Though this story focuses on my Grandpa, I whole heartedly believe that my Grandma also made this journey before she passed away. One of my favorite memories is her making sure that one of her frammed basketball cards (Grandma LOVED her sports) was out front and center for when openly racist family visited.

My dad posted this on facebook. I am very proud.

We moved to [small town] when I was 11…. We came out on weekends from [larger urban city] to go fishing. My sister had moved here a few years earlier, but that wasn’t really a factor because that hadn’t really worked out and she spent a lot of time with us in [larger urban city] anyway.
The biggest reason we moved from [larger urban city] to [small town] was because there were no black people in [small town]. None. Not one.
My dad was from Texas, Mom from Alabama. They couldn’t help it, it’s what they knew. Dad had a number of coworkers who were black, and he liked them, but in his mind there was a difference between black PERSONS and black PEOPLE. And to be fair, in the late 60’s, early 70’s, regardless of who was to blame, there was a lot of tension in places like [larger urban city]. Maybe [small town] was indeed safer.

Cut to 1995, 22 years later. (although it seems like 50). A fly-in fishing trip to a remote cabin in Canada, the group including Dad and a friend from work, who happened to be black. There were discussions, some a little uncomfortable because Dad was struggling a little bit with his past, I think, and ultimately mutual respect. I remember my friend, late at night in the dark of the cabin when we were all in our bunks, “This is for you Buddy” followed buy a beautiful rendition of an old country song. He had a nice voice.

Cut to 2008 when my dad, in probably his last political act, voted for Barack Obama as President of the United States.

What’s the point? Today Mitt Romney was in [small town], my town. He has evidently failed to make the journey my Dad managed, even given that it should have been a shorter one for them. If he’s not a bigot, he’s worse, because he’s acting like one to get a vote, to become President because it’s “his turn”. And in my town, at [Local Farm] people cheered him. And for the first time I’m ashamed at having grown up here.

I live in the south. I live in the bible belt. Having been raised in a family that comes from the south somethings are very familiar, but others still suprise me. Open racisim is still a thing – maybe not out in public – but certainly in a group of “like minded” individules. (Read this as white people.) I have never experianced this personally. While in the south I have only worked in places that were ethnicly and culturally diverse, so when I hear that this kind if thing still happpens I’m still suprised. It makes my heart sad and I really cannot wrap my head around the thought process.

On a simliar vein, I found this while being lazy on the internet this morning. Hugh Hefner wrote an article for his magazine Playboy about Sexual Freedom. My favorite quote “Today, in every instance of sexual rights falling under attack, you’ll find legislation forced into place by people who practice discrimination disguised as religious freedom.”

Where I live now has a decent sized gay population. Things that give me hope are times when I overhear conversations like this. At least its a step in the right direction.
Person 1: “I think I’m going to vote NO on that amendment.” (large amendment to state constiution against gay marriage)
Person 2: “Wow that seems awfully liberal for you. I’m suprised.”
Person 1: “I don’t agree with it [gay marriage], but its not my place to say they can’t get married if they love eachother.”

Anniversary

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Today is 5 years since we officially started dating. Though we’d been seeing each other for about 6 weeks beforehand. In a little over two weeks we are officially getting married. Some days it seems like no time has really passed at all (as in time flies) and others it feels like I’ve know him forever and we’ve grown into this symbiotic blob. Neither are a bad feeling when I stop to think about them. Often in a weird ways they are both comfortable and exciting all at once.

One of my biggest worries about our wedding day is getting all ugly cry-face and not being able to speak because I’m hyperventilating all over my pretty dress and new shoes. This is a worry because he deserves to have his new wife articulate how awesome he is coherently to their loved ones. (even if they really already know, it’s hard to miss) I know everyone will understand the ugly cry-face and some may get a little weepy as well. Weepy in this case is good for you.

So while I’ll probably not be able to be understood I will be meaning…

“I love you. I’m so happy to be getting married to my best friend. And I can’t wait to continue to experience life with you.