Today is my wonderful cousin S’ birthday. Cousin S is older than I am and loved to try and trick the younger ones into calling her Aunt S. Cousin S was the one to babysit, sit at the kids table and be the “cool aunt”. She made sure we matched our socks and would pick us up late at night to go to Meijer and just wander around. (though I was so young it was probably only 8 or 9 at night). I remember riding in the car with her, until we were nearly her size and sometimes after, if she had to stop faster than she would like, she would stretch her arm out across the passenger seat to make sure we didn’t slip out of the seatbelt. She drove a stick for a long time and would talk to the “dummy light” on the dashboard. I remember when she moved into the dorms at college and the loft beds with the notched 2×6 for a ladder. I love my planner and list maker Cousin. Without her we would have completely forgotten to do posed pictures for at our wedding. Without her I would probably never wear matching socks.
I wished her a happy birthday on facebook today and posted a little potato that makes me giggle. I hope this year is easier on her. My family is still recovering from loss & I know it has been especially hard on her. I fear that all of the fear, frustration and pain will make her explode one day. I hope she can find a new normal and heal. I hope she can relax & just breath.