Monthly Archives: February 2009

For you.


I’ve been thinking about who i wanted to be 5 years ago and I realized that I’m so much better than I wanted to end up. I’m so much stronger than I was then. And I want to thank you for making me realize that I am that strong. You didn’t make me this way, but you’ve never stopped me from doing anything from being upset for a little while and letting me work it out. Even if you are trying to cheer me up, it is with reminding me about reality rather then blowing hot air in my ear. I was depressed… always… and even though I’m annoyed with my jobless/part time situation… I never feel alone or empty. I never feel like I’m the only one putting in an effort. I’m part of something. I love you.



I have a job fair next month. Which means I need an updated resume and cover letter and (arg) a portfolio. My final project for school was making a work sample. So this isn’t too new for me…sorta. I had to ask for recommendation letters. I asked people who had previously said they would write them for me so… it wasn’t terrible. I have sample lessons so i think i just need to work on my philosophy.. fun.

Still sick. Loading up on the sudafed and hopefully getting better. Still tired achey and would rather sleep than do anything.

My cousin had her baby shower last weekend – i missed it because i was here. She is keeping the baby’s name a secret until she is born, I can’t wait. I’m really glad she moved back from the UP so that she is around her sisters and her family for this. It would have been tough so far away. Jaimie is looking for a better job, she tested with sprint yesterday – which may be a good thing.

George and Michelle are in Vegas. V’s husband shipped of to Iraq. and thats really all i’ve got… Nothing exciting lately.

Sick Again


So far it is only sniffles, a sore throat, a bit of grossness being hacked up and achy joints. But sick means no working no working means no money no money means I have to mooch off J some more. Good thing he has a full time job.

I was thinking about everything I need to start looking for a real job. An interview outfit – shoes to go with probably – a portfolio and copies of said portfolio – reference letters and copies of reference letters – copies of license – copies of resume… just tons of little things that all need to be put together before March 6th. There is a job fair then. Then another in April. I’m hoping we can get a laser printer before so that I can print all my portfolio stuff on my own rather than paying for it at kinkos.

and J is going to be studying to renew his certifications which are up in May – busy busy.

I applied to be a tutor and at a couple other places. We’ll see if anything turns up and keep subbing until something does.

Dream last night:


Sitting in a hotel room with Cali (the dog), Kris, some band (that included a grubby looking druggie who we called Ryan). For a while Kris and I didnt talk in the room… we talked to the band. But then I went over to talk to her about plotting to get out of the room. It was nice.