Accountable 2

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I suck at being accountable to myself. There no consequences for myself. 

So lets try this again. 

February goals

  1. Eat out less
  2. No drinking
  3. Taxes 

Next week’s menu

2 plated meals, 2 chicken meals, eat out Friday and probably Saturday. Sunday something easy. 

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Election 2016

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Maybe I’m an idealist or too optimistic about this. Maybe I want so badly to believe that DT will just walk about with his middle fingers in the air and the Republican party and he’s just been a troll this whole time. He’s a liar we all know that. Maybe he will end up being crazy liberal in his actions. As long as he doesn’t resign as soon as he gets sworn in (cause DT is an idiot but MP is Satan) we might last 4 years without plummeting into a firey apocalypse . 

Election 2016

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​Well I feel a sense of mourning and sick to my stomach. Because even if DT decides to be sworn in and immediately resign, Mike Pence is a much scarier option with real support in our majority Republican controlled House and Senate.  I feel like our country has decide to show its true nature as a sexist, racist bigoted dumpster fire. 

Get off my lawn 

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Sometimes I wonder, when I see younger people getting upset over an issue to the point of hatred for entire groups of people, are they seeing something previous generations have not? Are they just using the built up anger of previous generations as their spring board and making the next logical step? Have their life experiences not made them into cynics yet or have they not had enough life experience to be fully informed on an issue? 

Because these are never issues I personally have any real insight on I don’t pass judgment. But I wonder, and that also makes me think does the answer to those questions change over time,  no matter the actual actions taken?

Though, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever asked the same questions about racist or biggoted people. Maybe that’s because I see their views as inherently wrong and illogical, where as the issues I’ve seen younger people get fired up about usually come from a place of oppression and being fed up with systemic inequality.  The racist/bigots  people are the ones trying to do the oppressing and in my experience older. 

The end hatred of entire groups of people is the same though. 
Does that make the people on the sidelines part of the problem? Once we’re past that irrational fired up over anything stage, do we take too long to take real action? Are we more strategic or just apathetic? 

Maybe it’s because I do support people fighting out against oppression and I want them to succeed in real, meaningful, global ways. I want to do my part to help, but I’m also in that group they hate. It’s not something I can change and I don’t appreciate being grouped in wide brush strokes. And as an individual I know they don’t hate me and logically they know it’s not everyone. 

When they speak out, It’s not about me and I need to keep that in my mind. Not all of their points are logical or valid but that doesn’t mean some of them aren’t and should be discounted enmass.  

Dog Vent

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Ok dick with the black lab & terrier mix, can you control your fucking dogs? While mine gets along with lots of dogs in the complex but he hates any black dogs.
I was trying to put on his leash on but your impolite little monsters decided to stick their little noses into our treat bag and all up in his very obviously anxious face. Make them back the fuck up. We are trying to leave and he is doing his t-rex (snarling and snapping included) impression because he does not like your dog. He is afraid of your dog, and I can’t even attempt to get him to calm down while your dog is up in our business.

I can’t even leave the park because your terrier monster won’t go away. Put down your fucking phone and handle your shit.

Food

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I love food, I also love to cook and eat. I can put away a decent amount for a smaller person. This and being lazy and having a desk job with little opportunity to move around during the day lead to being slightly overweight. I wasn’t comfortable with myself, mostly because I felt terrible doing things I liked to do. I don’t need to lose alot of weight to be in a healthy range, but because I like food, am lazy, and dont move around much it makes it much harder to do.

Things I’ve changed to get healthy have been joining fitness classes that are fun with people I like. I work out 3x a week for 1-2 hours each depending on the day (total 5 hours a week). And by workout I mean dance, boot camp, stretching and a toning class. I’ve restricted what I eat most days to a range that will allow me to lose weight or at least not gain any. Being short and not super active this ends up being 1300-1700 calories depending on if I’m working out or not. And by restrict I mean, eat in moderation whatever I want. Usually this excludes fast food or lots of desserts, usually. Some days I eat half a plate of blondies and move on with my life.

Here is the thing that people might think I’m weird for doing. I weigh most of my food. Down to the gram. (I log it in fitbit which is not weird for most people.) But I recently got a new scale to keep in my purse. I am very excited about it, but telling other people about it might just get me weird looks. It’s taken me years to get down to close to normal weight range. And it seems since everyone seems to have shifted their view of how normal looks, I get some looks if I talk about weight or eating on a somewhat restricted diet. This shit is hard and I can’t imagine what other people go to to lose more.

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This is my pocket food scale. I use it to teach myself normal portion sizes and keep track of how many calories I eat.