Thirty days



Ok that’s the most wedding-y picture I have available that isn’t actuality part of wedding surprises.

We have 30 days left until the “big day”. I feel like I should be more stressed, or maybe just more outwardly stressed. Instead I know I’m clenching my teeth at night because my jaw is starting to hurt. I have a plan and that makes things better but I can’t sleep at night because i’m double checking the list in my head for things I can’t forget. During the day I’m not breaking out into hives or losing my hair so I count that as a win.

I feel patronized when I talk about the wedding. They talk about being a “bride”. Really, I’m planning a party. I’d much prefer to go with “hostess”. The wedding stuff is the easy part about this whole time. Wonderful OtherJ, witnesses, master of ceremonies for the ceremonial part, words to say in front of everyone, warm and squishy words for his eyes only, and a party at the end.
I feel like bride is a derogatory word at this point. Apparently people grow another head or sprout horns when they are engaged. Maybe it has to do with the horrible notion of a wedding being the “bride’s day”. No. We have had equal input and equal responsibility through this planning process. I’m better at making lists (or adapting them) and setting up the organization, but i suck at making a decision.

Though I have not heard words about it, I am sure that we will get all sorts or talk because we’re moving into a house now. Yes we are getting married and moving to an adult house. We are renting a house . It happens to be after a long battle with noisey neighbors and an extra long drive to work. But because we are also getting married there is some chatter.

We have gotten the “when are you having kids?” and “you’ll understand when you have kids.” Some days it is harder than others not to laugh at these questions. No plans for babies, active plans to prevent babies at all costs.

We are down to thirty days until the party and official ceremony. I’m ready and we can do this. I’m also ready to get on with life and find a new project to play with. I think I’ll be ok with just going back being a person, potentially with a different name.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s