I knew the weekend would be the hardest. During the week most of the day I’m at work. Even yesterday on my day off I had things to do most of the time, then dinner out with friends and a 2ish mile walk. (which hopefully I’ll be able to do more often). Then at home, you were gone. You were out with friends in a city too far away. Things like that always make me worry.

Today I have a list of things i want to get done around the house and that will likely keep me busy for the day. If I ever get around to doing them.

Right now, I’m just sitting. Made breakfast, having my coffee.

7:34pm
You’ve spent all day at with a friend, now at his wedding. I’ve spent the day cleaning and thinking non-stop about weddings. I hate that. I also hate that I feel guilty for it. No. Guilty is not the word. I just don’t have you here to share it with. You’re not here to veto my outrageousness and fake plan with me.  We need to just elope, I don’t want to actually have to decide any of this. I’m really bad at being home alone, but I really have no desire to actually go any where or be remotely social.