Sep10

No sugar day 3

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Food challenges are dumb. They are and I want a donut. Which is why No added sugar is my new food challenge. No other reason than to see if I can do it really.

Rules are simple to remember, even if they are hard to enforce.
1) no added sugar – this means reading labels and no sugar in my coffee.
2) no fake or substitute sugar – also reading labels and no mixed  drinks with coke zero
3) fruits and veggies that naturally contain sugar are fine, especially if you buy them in their raw forms

Now I don’t add sugar to many things as it is, but after looking at labels, it’s in a ton of things. Tomato soup?
Breakfast is a bitch and there are exactly two (cold) cereals at my usual grocery store that do not have sugar. Looks like I’ll be eating Puffed Wheat and berries for a month. It’s also a good thing that I like oatmeal and veggies.

I am also not starting out cold turkey. I was half way through a box of cereal when my week started, there was a half full jar of pasta sauce and a I did not check the dressing of my vegan pad Thai last night. I’m not keen on letting food go to waste so those will be used up before using alternatives with no sugar. I’m not sure if I’ll worry about bread if I want a piece or a sandwich, I doing eat much and we purchased super low sugar bread as it is. I’ll decide when it comes time.

These past three days have not been bad. But right now there are free donuts in the break room and I really want one. 23 more minutes of work and I think I’ll succeed in not eating one.

Sep5

Chickboxing week 5

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Another week alone, but with my full knee brace I did not walk out in pain so Yay! I’m getting more into the groove but I am really distracted if one of the instructors stands in front of me trying to show me whatever move we were doing. It’s much easier for me to focus on the front of the room and the music, they’re just too close.

I still have no sense of rhythm.

Sep3

Week 3&4 Chickboxing

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Week 3 was good but I really screwed up my knee and ended up wearing braces for the next week. Part of me was also disappointed that my partner in crime seemed to be looking for any excuse to give up in the middle of a session. I get being tired and winded and not being able to follow along, but it felt like overkill. The constant disparaging comments also didn’t help.

Week 4 my knee still hurt so skipped Chickboxing and went to the Sexy stretch class. It certainly hurt, but was definitely something I’ll do again. Apparently there is some things I’ve been doing wrong in yoga.

Today is week 5 and I’m back to Chickboxing with my full knee brace. Hopefully that will make a difference. The hubs would prefer if I could go hiking this weekend.

Aug14

Week 2 Chickboxing

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Week two was better than week one. It seemed slower but probably wasn’t. The older women I was standing between were kicking my butt. I have nearly zero abdominal strength and can’t really do sit ups.

This time I went alone because A had to be an emergency baby sitter. The other ladies in the class are super welcoming and encouraging, so I almost didn’t notice that I didn’t actually know anyone there.

Oh and my knees decided to go on protest. Gotta remember my braces next time.

Aug10

You are not the same person.

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The phrase that alarms me lately is “as a…”. No, just no, you have not been that in over 10 years. You have not been that person or even in that culture since I met you and you certainly haven’t put in the effort to maintain a connection to what you used to be. I know you’re hanging on for dear life as it is but maybe using terms to define you would be a good start. Especially ones that don’t fit in any way. Use them as a goal, something to reach for, but stop lying to yourself.

Aug7

Week 1 Chickboxing

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The Groupon was a good deal and I really needed something new in my workout. I conned A into coming with me. Kickboxing seemed less bouncy than jazzercise. It’s still bouncy and faster paced than I’d have thought. There is a little instruction but it mostly go with the flow and keep moving.
I learned a few things 1) I have zero rhythm and cannot do anything to a beat. 2) I’ll be sleeping well on Thursdays. My ankles hurt and my thighs are already sore. 3) I need new shoes.

I liked it and I’ll go back next week.

Jul25

homesick

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I’ve been out of my parents house and hundreds of miles away for nine and a half years – This January will be 10 years. I still remember the day. I don’t remember leaving or the feelings of that day. I don’t know if I was scared or excited. I was starting something new and brushed off all the things I either thought I didn’t want or didn’t deserve and things that I knew would anchor me to that place if I’d let them. There are some of those things that pushed to the side for only a little while and some that seem lost forever, which is probably for the best.

Today (and lately) I feel like a little kite. Spinning and flipping with no sense of direction and no real path to follow, but I’m tied to a string that’s tied to a rock on the ground.