and saving money for it and a new car and a new computer and i’m looking for a new job and a part time job and anything else that could help make a little bit of cash without sacrificing my real life. I feel discouraged about work and finding a new job. I want to help more than I am able to with funding all the things that need funding. Instead i’m plotting and scheming about how i can save money on various things like groceries or bills or anything else we have to buy for the wedding.

Today is an old/former friend’s birthday. I’m not sure if I feel bad because we have not spoken in 6 years or because I almost forgot what today was (even after a reminder). I turned on a band on the way home that used to mean something. The songs that used to mean so much are the ones I feel mostly nothing for and skip. The ones that used to mean nothing, still mean mostly nothing, but I guess my ears have changed because they are the ones I’d much rather listen to.

Last weekend we attempted to hike Cold Mountain… it was kinda failure and by kinda I mean we did not reach the top, see anything cool, and walking down hill just about killed me. I’m a big wuss with old lady knees. Next few hiking purchases will be a knee strap (my braces are too constricting) and trekking poles.

Next month I’m visiting my Parents and Hometown and some pretty awesome friends. At the end of the month Other J and I will attempt to go camping in preparation for our Memorial-Day-Weekend Multi-Night Camping Extravaganza.