This year I turn 30. I don’t really like birthdays in general. They have never been horrible usually turn out pretty well actually, but they are just not an event I get excited for. I have friends who love them and start planning months in advance but that’s not me.

This year I’m trying to participate in 100 happy days #100happydays. I am going to work on being a happier person this year and work on marking some bigger things off my giant to do list. Starting with another tattoo this summer and a long hiking trip with the husband.

I’ve really wanted a half apron lately. My gram always had one on. Maybe its because I have been super domestic and crafty lately with lots of cooking and cross stitching. It could be because my grandpa passed recently. I’m feeling kinda domestic and I’m I’m going to be good at one thing it might as well be something domestic. I feel ok at lots of things but not good at anything really.

And pockets, and I rub my hands on my pants to clean them alot. If you spin with your arms out in my kitchen you can touch every counter, but I still have 3 dish towels out so I can wipe off my hands.

Sometimes the thought of owning pets, or more pets, makes me never want to get another one.
It’s especially hard when one of the good ones doesn’t get to live the long life they deserved to.

Part of me is conflicted that I don’t want kids, I want the wonderful things that the people who raised me have taught me, to live on. I guess that I should come to terms with my sisters and my cousins being the ones to pass these things on.

Leaving them the first time to go back to work just seems heartbreaking. Especially with all the hormones still going on. Even if it is just for a couple hours and your job allows for more flexibility than others it still seems like more worry than I would like to sign up for.